Part of my job is to provide bully prevention presentations to schools. I gave one of these presentations yesterday and I find the experience still lingering with me today. When I talk to students about bullying, I often share personal stories from my childhood.
I’ve always been insecure about my body–in a constant battle with my weight. Some of this relates back to things people said about me and some of it relates to the media, but it all boiled down to one thing–self-hate. These negative messages made me hate everything about myself. These messages made it impossible for me to see any good in myself. They made me want to disappear.
When I talk to students, I share personal stories. I do this because I want them to understand that what they say to someone today can impact them for the rest of that person’s life. I don’t think a lot of people think about how much impact they have on another person.
Those negative message we receive when we are young are burned into us and stay with us long into adulthood. I carry a lot of the negative messages I heard as a kid and a young adult. The messages I heard then, impact how I see myself today.
When I look in the mirror, I don’t see a beautiful woman. I see an ugly fat girl–and that is putting it nicely. Most days, I can’t point out one thing I like about myself. Many times, I hear the words, “You’d be pretty if” when I look in the mirror. Pretty if I lost weight. Pretty if I wore more make up. Pretty if.
I know what a lot of these kids who are being bullied are going through. Hearing negative things about themselves day in and day out will tear them down. I want to build their self-love while I continue to build my own.
A lot of the younger students often ask me if I have self-love. I tell them, it is a work in progress. We always need to continue working on that self-love; we need to smash that self-hate. So what am I doing about it? When I start to thinking negatively about myself, I make myself name 5 things I love about myself.
So what are they?
Eyes
Hair
Nose
Singing Voice
Sense of Humor
In a moment, that self-hate I had for myself blossoms into self-love. Of course, there are still days where I can’t find a single thing I like about myself. On those days, my wonderful husband tells me all the things he loves about me.
To me, finding that self-love is just as important as losing weight. It is all a part of getting healthy. We can’t get healthy physically if we don’t get healthy mentally.
From Hefty to Slenderella 